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2016

by inkmink

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1.
heard unsure of the words to say 'goodbye' just isn't right burned aching and sore sink in the tub stay in for a month apologies aren't enough apologies aren't right - aren't true i know when to stop i know it's tough i know enough
2.
on the drive home saw your smile disappear thought about your empty arms and my hollow mouth and I cried because I thought I was right thought that we were happy thought you were my guide but I was so wrong you don’t cast any light crosses weigh me down needles ruin my sight and I hoped to die that night nothing I could do except lie to you
3.
When you're resting in the wolf's mouth do you bed down on his tongue? And how much time does it take before he strains your warm blood through his teeth? I don't know and I don't care. I don't know and I don't care. I don't know and I don't care. I don't know and I don't care. How do you rest your head on the wolf's chest but still find yourself pinned beneath his paws? And how do you rest your head on the wolf's chest but still have your throat between his jaws? I don't know and I don't care. I don't know and I don't care. I don't know and I don't care. I don't know and I don't care. Keeping you at arm's length - keeping you at arm's length, but he never held my face like that - never held my face like that and he never put his arm around my shoulder - my shoulders and he never sang to me. He never sang to me.
4.
5.
Empty space - I am a living grave, a constant memory of what I could've been. When I finally come apart I will return all that I stole: this body and the space it took up.
6.
Bruised and sunburned, I guess I am alive: I can feel the warm pain - I can feel the deep strains. I've been collecting this shame for as long as I can remember and under its weight pretense turns to surrender. I will resign. I will back away. I will take a bow. I'll slip out now. I can't figure this out. I am so embarrassed. I'm not ok. I'm not - ok?
7.
Forever unfinished, even if I make it to the end a stumbling wreck, a mess of old bones and bitter soul. There are things I'll miss even if I stay for as long as I can. You know, timing is everything. Open palms licked clean. Empty hands like wounds. My heart dropped years ago. I fell in love with an idea. And so when I see you here it's like I've always seen you here. Open palms licked clean. Empty hands like wounds.
8.
9.
10.
11.
Scars like creases A body dog-eared like a book These are our favorite parts Thrown on the fire It still feels wrong But we need the warmth Forgive before being forgiven Forgive before being forgot(ten) Immaterial, immolated melt and create mud Immaterial, crenulated fall apart and fall Immaterial, immolated melt and create mud Immaterial, crenulated fall apart and fall
12.
Extending out from my chest a cross that hasn't a use yet. But when I finally see life through well, the dead can just bury themselves. A living grave just waiting for the right time to open up. Lungs knock on ribs like a locked door. Joints give out - bring me closer to the floor. ...ain ste... ...ap root... ...settle dow... ...ettle in... I am afraid of dea... yours and mine... ...eath...yours an... ...I am afraid - - - -
13.
14.
15.

about

The songs I made every month for the year 2016.

Parts one through twelve (plus extras).

credits

released January 31, 2017

Tracks 10, 13, and 14 I did not write.

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about

inkmink Maine

inkmink started in an apartment in Farmington, Maine in 2005. inkmink is an independent project.

Don't break my heart and tell me you don't remember.

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