2016

by inkmink

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about

The songs I made every month for the year 2016.

Parts one through twelve (plus extras).

credits

released January 31, 2017

Tracks 10, 13, and 14 I did not write.

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about

inkmink Ames, Iowa

inkmink started in an apartment in Farmington, Maine in 2005. inkmink is an independent project.

Don't break my heart and tell me you don't remember.

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Track Name: I Know Enough (January)
heard
unsure of the words
to say
'goodbye' just isn't right

burned
aching and sore
sink in the tub
stay in for a month

apologies
aren't enough

apologies
aren't right - aren't true

i know when to stop
i know it's tough

i know enough
Track Name: Can't Listen to Crosses (Instrumental) (February)
on the drive home
saw your smile disappear
thought about your empty arms
and my hollow mouth

and I cried
because I thought I was right
thought that we were happy
thought you were my guide

but I was so wrong
you don’t cast any light
crosses weigh me down
needles ruin my sight

and I hoped to die
that night
nothing I could do
except lie to you
Track Name: Arm's Length (March)
When you're resting in the wolf's mouth
do you bed down on his tongue?
And how much time does it take before
he strains your warm blood through his teeth?

I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.

How do you rest your head on the wolf's chest
but still find yourself pinned beneath his paws?
And how do you rest your head on the wolf's chest
but still have your throat between his jaws?

I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.

Keeping you at arm's length - keeping you at arm's length,
but he never held my face like that - never held my face like that
and he never put his arm around my shoulder - my shoulders
and he never sang to me. He never sang to me.
Track Name: Living Grave (May)
Empty space - I am a living grave,
a constant memory of what I could've been.

When I finally come apart I will return all that I stole:
this body and the space it took up.
Track Name: I will. I am. I can't. I'm not. (June)
Bruised and sunburned,
I guess I am alive:
I can feel the warm pain -
I can feel the deep strains.

I've been collecting this shame
for as long as I can remember
and under its weight
pretense turns to surrender.

I will resign.
I will back away.
I will take a bow.
I'll slip out now.

I can't figure this out.
I am so embarrassed.
I'm not ok.
I'm not - ok?
Track Name: Open Palms Licked Clean (July)
Forever unfinished,
even if I make it to the end a stumbling wreck,
a mess of old bones and bitter soul.

There are things I'll miss
even if I stay for as long as I can.
You know, timing is everything.

Open palms licked clean.
Empty hands like wounds.

My heart dropped years ago.
I fell in love with an idea.
And so when I see you here it's
like I've always seen you here.

Open palms licked clean.
Empty hands like wounds.
Track Name: Words Instead of Whatever (November)
Scars like creases
A body dog-eared like a book
These are our favorite parts

Thrown on the fire
It still feels wrong
But we need the warmth

Forgive before being forgiven
Forgive before being forgot(ten)

Immaterial, immolated
melt and create mud
Immaterial, crenulated
fall apart and fall

Immaterial, immolated
melt and create mud
Immaterial, crenulated
fall apart and fall
Track Name: The Cost of Living (December)
Extending out from my chest
a cross that hasn't a use yet.
But when I finally see life through
well, the dead can just bury themselves.

A living grave just
waiting for the right time to open up.
Lungs knock on ribs like a locked door.
Joints give out - bring me closer to the floor.

...ain ste...
...ap root...
...settle dow...
...ettle in...

I am afraid of dea...
yours and mine...
...eath...yours an...
...I am afraid - - - -